@mycrazyisreal

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Acceptance requires change

April 11, 2018 0 Comments


This week I will talk about a familiar prayer. Serenity Prayer. This prayer is used by People in AA. The prayer is short but profound. The three sentences convey three messages that work together. They sum up what we should pray daily. I will use this prayer for us to learn acceptance requires change.

The first sentence says 'God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change".  I love the place of this sentence in the prayer. The first sentence the author asks God to grant him something. He asked for serenity. Serenity means, the state of being calm, peaceful and untroubled. That is deep. I mean you ask God to allow you to be calm, peaceful and untroubled. But from what? To accept the things I cannot change. He didn't ask God for money, fame or for God to hurt the people that hurt him. No, he wants to be untroubled about accepting change.

The word accept means to consent to receive. We must be calm to consent to receive the things we can't change (alter). We can't change others. Our families, the neighbourhood in which we grow up in, the elementary and high school we went to. The Ministers or Pastors that guided our former years in the church. The Co-workers and managers we worked with. These people are things we couldn't change because they were placed in your lives. These people opinions of us at the times may be harsh. It may not just be verbal but also physical. As this may be true we can't change those situations or circumstances. We need to be calm, peaceful and untroubled to accept (consent to receive) what we can't change (alter). We can't change the past behaviour of others in our lives. All we can do is accept that it has happened and not allow it to be our future. 

The second sentences say "Courage to change the things I can". Now the second sentences he places the responsibility on himself for his change. He asks for courage to change the things he can. We all need courage (brave) and begin the process of changing (altering) ourselves. We must change. In the word of God, it tells us we are to be transformed Romans 12:2. Transformation only happens when we are ready.  We must give up your old self for a new and improve version.  

If you want to change you, first change the way you feel, talk and see yourself. The person who hurts us the most is us. We feel bad about things we did or didn't do and instead of taking responsibility we make excuses why nothing is working out. Change requires accepting responsibility.   We see ourselves as overweight but continue to eat our feelings of past hurts and pains and expect to lose weight. It will not happen. We must accept the pain of our past, receive change (alter) to live the life we want.

The last sentences say "Wisdom to know the difference". This is three sentences and so important. If we lack wisdom (experience) we are in trouble. We need to be clear on the difference between their stuff and our stuff. Without this wisdom, we will repeat  the same cycle.
Wisdom means the quality of having experience, knowledge and good judgement, the quality of being wise. The wisdom factor looks like this. Your stuff is the things you think about ourselves that we don't tell their people. Example " I need to shed a few pounds so I can look better in my clothes.  Their stuff is their opinion about who you are or have been or will be.  Example, " I notice you have put on some weight lately. Don't get mad about it you were always chunky. Being big isnt so bad plus you have a pretty face  "

As we accept the things we can't change and the things we can our lives will get better. Like the people in AA that are learning to live in sobriety, we must do the same. We must stop being intoxicated with pass hurts and pains and work to be alert to see our future. We can live a calm life just accept it.
 I hope you like the following prayer: 




Wednesday, April 04, 2018

Acceptance vs Tolerance, How you living?

April 04, 2018 0 Comments
    The month of April we will go deeper into the life we desire. In order for this to accord, we will need to address issues. I wrote a book entitled "Know Your Crazy, Accept Your Crazy". This book is my personal craziness. As self-claimed ex-rageaholic, I would get angry at anyone and everything.  Raging at everyone that got in my way. My behaviour may have been tolerated by people but not accepted.


                                  Tolerance is not a way of life 


  Tolerance means as the ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular, the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.  Tolerance should not be the way we live our lives. Tolerating people opinions can lead to problems that will have lifelong implications. If you don't pay attention, you will live intolerance for years with no end and no peace in sight. I have a story about tolerance. This is what tolerance looks like we don't listen to common sense. 





  There was a young man that lived in my neighbourhood. He would hang out on the corner day after day. He was about 16 years old and not in school. One day a few of his friends and him decided they would steal from the corner store. What they did not know was that the store owner had a gun and was not afraid to use it. The young man got shot in the calf part of his leg. Instead of going to the hospital he listened to his friends that told him to go home. They said if he went to the hospital he would have to explain the gunshot. He went home and put bandages on the wound. He never went to the doctor. 


After a while, he walked with a limp. He lost movement in the lower part of his leg. He got to where he couldn't run anymore. A year later this young man lost his lower right leg. The nerves and muscles in his leg got infected by the year of neglect. The calf can't be restored. His leg had succumbed to gangrene. He is now in a wheelchair. This is what tolerance looks like, Open wounds.




                              Acceptance is a better way


  The word acceptance means as the action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered. This The young man's life would be different if he lived in acceptance. If he hadn't tried to steal from the store, he would still have his leg. If he had gone to the hospital instead of listening to his friends. If he didn't tolerate the pain from the gunshot. If he had told his family members. His life is now a bunch of want ifs. One different action would change his outcome.

  Acceptance requires us to decide. It requires knowledge of the direction we wish to go. We can't and shouldn't be walking around with open wounds from past hurts. Our a Physician that is capable of healing us. He came to give life, and that life is to be lived abundantly. Wounds are not a part of that. We must move away from tolerance and begin the journey to acceptance. 






                                      Start the journey 


  This journey will require soul-searching. You will need to take a long look at your life and see the areas where you are tolerating.  

1.Is your life right now free from depression and anxiety or the direct opposite?

2.Do you feel like everyone is living their dream life and you are just suffering through yours?

If that is you then you need to reevaluate your life. 

1.What issues are open wounds that need immediate attention? 

2.Can you find help or do you need help?

3.Do you a family member or friend that will not judge but help you push through no matter what you say?

  I'm asking you my sisters and brother's to stop tolerating wounds as badges of honour and start getting them closed up.God doesn't require war wounds in order to get into the kingdom so stop having them, Acceptance has to be your goal. Get ready to move things around. Expect change. Once you begin to accept things as they really are some people will not want to be around you. That is fine. Get to know new people that will advance your life for the better. Once you start down the path of acceptance you will feel better and be better for yourself and everyone else around you.